It Was The Leeches
by SheynaLew
Summary: "Don't even think about it!" Sam and Jack, stranded alone on a very muddy planet. Whatever will they do? Based on the five word prompt "don't even think about it" from the challenge on tumblr. This was supposed to be a funny, short bit of fluff. Somehow a tiny bit of smut found its way in.


Jack didn't think there'd be a time when he missed seeing trees off-world. It was common place. Boring even. It didn't feel like being on another planet at all. Sometimes, he felt like the trees took the magic out of gate travel.

But today, today he missed the trees.

They'd been traipsing through mud for at least two hours now, and what made it worse was knowing that if they'd been on a tree-covered planet, they'd have covered this distance in half the time. As it was, he and Carter were almost knee-deep in sticky, squelchy, muddy mud. And the damn stuff was seeping into his socks.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" He shouted as his foot got sucked back down and he fell face-first into it.

"Carter," he mumbled, spitting the stuff out of his mouth, "if that was a giggle, so help me, I will leave you on this planet. If we ever get to the Stargate."

He distinctly heard her snicker before denying it. "No, sir. An exclamation of concern. Definitely not a giggle."

He tried to raise a sceptical eyebrow, but it's progress was hindered by a glob of brown goo.

"Are you alright, sir?" She asked, not even attempting to hide the grin.

"Peachy."

She was biting her lip. She only did that when she was trying not to laugh. He knew, because she did every time he said anything intended to make her do just that. This time, it was less cute.

"Why does the Gate not look any closer than it did when we crashed on this boggy hell hole?" He asked, glaring at the barely distinguishable Stargate-shaped object on the horizon.

Carter bent down to pull him back up.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it is closer, but objects at a distance appear smaller because the visual angle..."

"Ack! No. No techno-babble. I am tired. I am grouchy. And I have mud coming out of too many orifices to focus on your science talk." He interrupted, remaining seated. Then, "Orifii? Orificus?"

This time, she raised an eyebrow and offered him her hand again.

"Thank you." There was a glint in his eye, and she had a second or less to shriek "Don't even think about it!" Before he'd pulled her into the mud with him.

"Now we're even. Up you get, Major."

She glared at him, wiping as much muck from her face as she could. She was about to stand when she caught him smiling at her, head cocked to one side.

"What?"

"You missed a spot." He reached a hand up without thinking and wiped the last glob from her cheek, thumb caressing her cheekbone.

Her eyes instantly darkened and her breath caught in her throat.

Jack coughed and looked away.

"You've missed quite a bit more yourself..." This time she reached up and wiped a streak from his nose. He caught her hand in his and turned it, finding a spot not covered in mud and gently brushing it with his lips.

It turned out that was all it took. A bit of mud and some time stranded alone on a planet. Then they were pressed against each other, his tongue in her mouth, her hand up his shirt on the back of his neck. The mud hindered them taking it too far beyond the now blurred and indistinct line they had supposedly drawn, but she still found herself straddling his hips, grinding her centre against the noticeable hardness pressing up against his pants.

She allowed herself a moment to wonder if the increased surface area of his body lying down was preventing them from sinking below the surface. But only a moment, and then his hand had somehow found its way up her shirt, thumb brushing over her nipple and sending shivers down her spine.

She returned the favour by twisting a little against him, relieving some of her own pent up frustration and, by the deep growl he released, a little of his too.

She was sucking on his neck, and she'd undone his fly to give her hand more space between them before he'd come back to his senses and grabbed her wrist.

"Can't." He mumbled against her throat.

She was pretty sure she heard herself whimper.

"Mud in underwear is a lot harder to explain than mud all over our uniforms."

That seemed to clear her head. "Shit."

He chuckled. "Sorry, Carter. I shouldn't have pulled you down here with me."

"No. No, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have..."

"How about we both just stop apologising and making excuses?"

She looked quizzically at him.

"It happened." He explained. "We can't change it. Should we have been making out off-world..."

"Or at all." She added.

"Or at all." He accepted reluctantly. "Probably not."

" _Probably_ not...?"

"Ok, definitely not. But I'm not going to pretend I didn't enjoy it."

She smiled. "No. No, I enjoyed it too."

"But we have to stop now, and go home, before this goes any further."

Her eyebrow went up again.

"I mean, not that it should go further at home either."

Her eyebrow stayed up.

"Not that I don't want it to!"

She stared at him, trying to hide a smile.

"Dammit, Carter, stop that. You know what I mean."

"I know. This shouldn't happen again. We should get to the Stargate."

Jack paused. "And we're ok?"

Sam smiled sadly. "Yes, sir."

"Sir..."

Sam took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Some day though?"

He looked into her eyes and squeezed her hand back. "Yeah, Carter. Some day. I promise."

With that he pushed himself up out of the mud and pulled her with him.

* * *

In the infirmary, finally clean, Janet was fussing over Jack when she found the hickey Sam had left on his neck.

"Erm, Colonel...?" She began.

Jack caught Sam's eye, and saw her jaw drop. A split second later he realised what Janet had seen.

"Leeches!" He shouted. Then, more quietly, "Yeah there were leeches. In the mud. Leeches."

"Uh huh..." Janet didn't look like she believed him in the slightest. "Those leeches should probably stay away from any obvious areas of skin in future." She turned to Sam, lips pressed together, forcing back a smile.

Sam felt her cheeks redden and ducked her head. "It's ok, I don't think there'll be any leeches for a while now."

Jack nodded and caught Sam's eye. Some day.


End file.
